Racing thoughts that will not let you rest even when the baby rests – generally ‘what if “ thoughts –  you pick the subject and off your busy brain goes to what if ..land

Impatience and Rage – you cannot recognize this new person you have become, you may never have raised your voice in your life and suddenly you cannot control this intense feeling of anger/impatience and rage – towards anyone close to you, it can feel so intense you feel it physically in your body.

Intrusive thoughts – you are a good mother, you are the perfect mother for your baby.  Intrusive thoughts come out of nowhere, make you extremely uncomfortable and make you question yourself as a “good mother.”  These thoughts are scary and oftentimes involve thoughts of injury or even death of your baby.  Research shows that 91% of new moms have intrusive thoughts – now these may be “triggering” but many new moms find it extremely validating to hear that number and to hear actual thoughts – I will name a few – without details to let you know hat we know.  We get it.  We have been where you are…stairs, bathing your baby.  There are many more – now, I want you to find comfort in the fact that you are not alone.  Find comfort in the fact that these thoughts make you uneasy, uncomfortable – that is how you can recognize these are intrusive thoughts – a part of postpartum anxiety.

Feeling like anyone else would be a better mother than you – and literally, thinking, if i drop my baby at X, they would be better off without me. That mom is a good mom, and obviously I am not (because of any of the above).
Another scary word, ready – Passive Suicidal thoughts.  These are thoughts of disappearing, driving off and never coming home, hopelessness, failure, fatigue. Thoughts that start with the baby would be better off with __________, my husband/partner would be better off if I wasn’t here.  These are thoughts, these are not a plan. two entirely different things.

Why did I ruin my life, our life, we were so happy before thoughts. I wish I could just have my former life back.

Panic attacks – even if you have never had one before, oftentimes moms unfamiliar with the symptoms of a panic attack will believe they are having a heart attack, as the symptoms can be very physical and very similar.  Some of the symptoms include shortness of breath, racing heart, excessive, sweating, nausea, and even disassociation and keeping yourself isolated from your world and the world.  Oftentimes moms will feel lonely and isolated but find themselves unable to connect with others or even leave their homes.  Other moms feel trapped in their own homes and experience an increase in anxiety when they are home with their baby.

Physically not be able to swallow, to eat.

Keeping yourself isolated from your world and the world.

Not feeling anything for your baby.

If any or all of these sound like what you are feeling. What you are thinking – please know you are not alone. Fully 80% of what was once call Postpartum Depression presents as Anxiety – OCD – Panic Attacks – PTSD (about your birth experience