I am ready to kick 2018 out the door. Sayonara, year.
The best thing you gave me was my beautiful daughter. The worst was piles of medical bills from a high risk and awful pregnancy, a traumatizing c-section recovery, and last but very not least.. postpartum anxiety and OCD.
But oh, January 1, how I loathe you.
Not because it’s a new year, I like clean slates, but because everyone everywhere is searching through their cheap champagne hungover brains for a list of resolutions.
The definition of “resolution” is a firm decision to do something.
Firm. Yeah, right.
Exhibit A: I signed up for a weight loss program a few days ago. The holidays are over, we are a mere five months away from bathing suit season, and I am only six months from my daughters first birthday. I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you, “NEW YEAR NEW ME” was flashing in neon lights in my head when I began this dieting endeavor. Two days later I was in my kitchen eating left over Christmas cookies. Far from a firm decision.
We spend January proclaiming our resolutions, and February full of chocolate and regret for abandoning them.
As someone with postpartum anxiety and OCD the last thing I need is something else to stress and obsess over. The mere thought of creating a list of resolutions to focus on gives me hives.
Instead, I am going to set goals this year.
Rather than resolutions, goals take on more of a destination, and most destinations have bumps in the road. Sometimes the car breaks down, or the bus gets a flat, but everyone gets there in time. It may take longer than anticipated, but you reach your destination in the end.
Here are five goals that I have come up with for myself throughout 2019.
1. Be kind to yourself.
We are all fighting a tough battle. Having postpartum anxiety and OCD caused a whirlwind in my life the last few months of 2018, but I’m entering 2019 on a high. If that high plateaus, or my healing plummets for a moment in time, I will be gentle with myself. I now know healing is a process. Belittling myself for the bad days or bad moments won’t get me anywhere.
2. Set boundaries.
I talk a big game about keeping the negative out, but I never really do it. I set boundaries and allow them to be broken immediately. My goal for this year is to stick to my guns when it comes to boundaries. I know it is so important to ensure the people surrounding me reflect love and light while I journey through the PMAD world. I will work hard on protecting my peace in 2019.
3. Self care.
Instead of saying, “I need to lose X amount of pounds” I am going to incorporate more self care into my life. It can be as simple as applying a fun facial mask a few nights a week, making time for a mani/pedi, attending a yoga class once a week, or even making sure I get back to my nightly chamomile tea while watching my favorite show. If along the way I am able to begin a diet and shed some pounds, great, but that isn’t my goal. The goal here is to nurture myself as well as I do others.
4. Read, real books, not your phone.
Social media is the bane of my PMAD world. Unfortunately, not many will show the negative aspects of being a Mom and wife across their social media accounts. My goal is to put down my phone more when I am about to mindlessly scroll on social media, and pick up a book. I have 2 books on my nightstand with a small book light. I’ll replace scrolling through Facebook for way too long with a chapter of a book. Gone are the days where I would fall asleep with a book wide open on my belly, and now I instead fall asleep with my phone smacking me in my face.
5. Help others.
I have always been proactive in areas I feel passionate about, and being thrown for a loop into the world of PMAD has opened new territory for me that I never knew existed. The stigma, shame, and secrecy surrounding PMAD has created an environment and culture that has prevented Moms from getting the help they need at the most vulnerable time in a family’s life. If in 2019 speaking out about my PMAD experience can help even one single Mom, then it is worth it.
When the clock strikes 12:00 AM on January 1st, take a deep breath, and remember it is just another day. There are no mandatory resolutions to be made, only goals to journey through 2019 with.